It’s a common concern among both men and women. It doesn’t take long to realize how cold the singles scene can be. It’s enough to make your ex’s rough edges look smooth as the champagne glass the two of you shared a drink from on New Year’s Eve.

But before deciding how to get your ex back, you must be positive that’s the outcome you actually desire. If you have doubts, wait. A great deal of time and energy will be required to succeed; it’d be a shame if all that effort went to waste because you were motivated by revenge.

When – and if – the time is right, these tips will put you on track to winning back your ex.

1 – Stalk not. Under no circumstances should you ever do anything that could be perceived as stalking your ex. This is absolutely not the way toward your goal of a happy reconciliation. Stalking is more likely to land you in the back seat of a police cruiser than in the arms of you ex lover.

2 – Look good.  Actually, look good for your ex. Since you never know when you might run into him or her, wear the clothing and makeup they most liked seeing you in. Use the little details that once drove them wild to your advantage. You always want to look for absolute best.

3 – Abandon neediness. Desperation is most unattractive. If you truly desire to get your ex back in your life, you will have a much greater chance of success if you seem to be experiencing your life to its fullest. Don’t focus on him or her. Keep your distance, at least for the first few weeks.

4 – Be direct. To say that women and men have trouble communicating effectively with each other is an understatement. When it’s time to see the ex again, try honesty. Tell him or her how you actually feel. At this point, what do you have left to lose? 

5 – Forget jealousy. Dating someone else just to make your ex jealous is a much overused ploy. The effectiveness of this childish behavior is highly overrated. Not to mention, that there’s never any excuse for using another individual this way.

Learning how to get your ex back isn’t difficult (although I was never able to do it just on intuition alone). It all boils down to learning what to say and do. Good luck!

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Yeah, I know … been there, done that, got the T-shirt — burned it! It’s enough to drive a girl nuts. But it doesn’t have to be like that.

We can change things. We can get the ex back!

That’s why you’re here, right? You wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t want to get the ex back. You want to save your relationship. Rekindle your love.

But if you are feeling overly anxious to get the ex back, you may be doing and saying all the wrong things. That’s understandable. Just like your guy’s natural reaction – to pull away. It’s human nature to resist this type of pressure. Struggling against human nature is absolutely pointless; it only makes matters worse.

Are you calling your ex too often, constantly sending him e-mails or text messages? Are you trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you’re doing these things, stop! Right now.

So what can I do, you ask, to get my ex boyfriend back? Give this strategy a try.

You must take a completely fresh approach. Begin by breaking off contact with him for a while, doing your own thing. While those lines of communication are closed, focus on ways to improve your personal life rather than focusing on issues in the relationship. (I know; I know. I was resistant, too.) This will absolutely be a challenging time for you. It will take discipline not to fall back into your old ways. But it will be worth it!

Why, you ask? Well, when we don’t pursue them, they generally start seeing us in a different light.

That’s right. To get the ex back, stop pursuing him. You may become mysterious to him in some ways, because he is not sure what you are feeling, doing or planning. And this can work in your favor. Now your ex boyfriend is in a position to miss you, which was not possible when you were smothering him.

Remember, the key to this strategy and to mending a breakup is to work with human nature instead of against it. With this basic strategy, you can restore a balance in the relationship and allow your ex to remember why he was in love with you in the first place.

It’s important to stay grounded and to avoid smothering him. Allow yourself to appear mysterious and he can be reminded of all the reasons he fell in love with you. Be hard to get (just do not overdo it) and let him make the first move, and you will come out ahead. And then you can quit wondering “What can I do to get my ex boyfriend back?”

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