You may wind up doing and saying some truly desperate things. But sadly, desperation will only drive him farther away.

Guys detest feeling smothered and, more than likely, you can trace this breakup back to him feeling somewhat smothered. Trying to pressure him back, with either actions or words, will merely create more distance between the two of you. If this isn’t what you desire, then choose your words with care as you learn how to get your ex boyfriend back.

First, when you’re trying to find how to get your ex boyfriend back, don’t act too quickly or impulsively. Usually, following your heart is a great course of action.  However, in this situation, your clouded judgment makes you much more likely to sabotage yourself by saying the wrong thing. Before any, and all, interactions that you may have with him, you must have gathered your thoughts and have visualized his reaction. This is not the time to be completely spontaneous.

Unfortunately, there’s no can’t-fail fix when you’re struggling to discover how to get your ex boyfriend back. No magic words exist that you can say to create the “happily ever after” ending for which you hunger so deeply. Broken relationships take time to heal.

A large part of the challenge you’re facing has to do with the fact that, in his head, he’s convinced himself that he’s done with you. To him, your relationship is over and he’s ready to move on. If you know that it isn’t, and that both of you belong together, then carefully choose your words any time you communicate with him.

In your attempts to get your ex boyfriend back, there are a couple of traps you mustn’t fall into.

• Don’t start making plans for the two of you. That’s likely to stop any chance of reconciliation in its tracks.  

• And definitely don’t consider it a forgone conclusion that the two of you’ll be getting back together. Most likely, it took some effort just to arrange a meeting between both of you. Realize that having him speaking to you is a real victory; don’t blow it now by jumping the gun.

It’s important to discuss what went wrong in your love relationship, all the while staying open to hearing and understanding what he says. Don’t argue his points. Keep your mind open and the tone of your voice even.

Winning the how to get your ex boyfriend back challenge will require you to think much more about what you say. The best way to do that is to listen. Definitely don’t assume that you know what he’s going to say or what he wants to hear. He’s the one who knows his wants, and your goal should be to listen for it. Let him reveal what you need to know. Once you’ve really listened, it should be easy for you to know the best things to say. Listening is a key step in discovering how to get your ex boyfriend back.

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